Housework Humor

Thursday Mar 01st, 2018


Spring begins on March 20, and around this time the thoughts of some turn to spring cleaning.  But not everyone, as you’ll see from these quotes:

Housework is something you do that nobody notices until you don’t do it.  – Evan Esar

Nature abhors a vacuum.  And so do I.  – Anne Gibbons

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing.  – Phyllis Diller

Cleanliness is not next to godliness.  It isn’t even in the same neighborhood.  No one has ever gotten a religious experience out of removing burned-on cheese from the grill of the toaster oven.  – Erma Bombeck

My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.  – Anonymous

Always keep several get well cards on the mantle, so if unexpected guests arrive, they’ll think you’ve been sick and unable to clean.  – Maxine

I’m not going to vacuum ‘til Sears makes one you can ride on.  – Roseanne Barr

I hate housework.  You make the beds, you wash the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again. – Joan Rivers

Housework is a treadmill from futility to oblivion with stop-offs at tedium and counterproductivity.  – Erma Bombeck

Conran’s rule of housework:  It expands to fill the time available plus half an hour. – Shirley Conran

When it comes to housework the one thing no book of household management can ever tell you is how to begin.  Or maybe I mean why.  – Katharine Whitehorn

If your house is really a mess and a stranger comes to the door, greet him with, “Who could have done this?  We have no enemies.”  – Phyllis Diller

Dust is a protective cover.  – Anonymous


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