Housework Humor

Spring begins on March 20, and around this time the thoughts of some turn to spring cleaning.  But not everyone, as you’ll see from these quotes:

Housework is something you do that nobody notices until you don’t do it.  – Evan Esar

Nature abhors a vacuum.  And so do I.  – Anne Gibbons

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing.  – Phyllis Diller

Cleanliness is not next to godliness.  It isn’t even in the same neighborhood.  No one has ever gotten a religious experience out of removing burned-on cheese from the grill of the toaster oven.  – Erma Bombeck

My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.  – Anonymous

Always keep several get well cards on the mantle, so if unexpected guests arrive, they’ll think you’ve been sick and unable to clean.  – Maxine

I’m not going to vacuum ‘til Sears makes one you can ride on.  – Roseanne Barr

I hate housework.  You make the beds, you wash the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again. – Joan Rivers

Housework is a treadmill from futility to oblivion with stop-offs at tedium and counterproductivity.  – Erma Bombeck

Conran’s rule of housework:  It expands to fill the time available plus half an hour. – Shirley Conran

When it comes to housework the one thing no book of household management can ever tell you is how to begin.  Or maybe I mean why.  – Katharine Whitehorn

If your house is really a mess and a stranger comes to the door, greet him with, “Who could have done this?  We have no enemies.”  – Phyllis Diller

Dust is a protective cover.  – Anonymous