Valentine's Day Funnies

My college English professor was a hard grader. One February day I received a B-minus on a research paper. In hopes of  bettering my grade, I sent her a Valentine’s Day card with the inscription: “BE MINE.” The following day, I  received a valentine from the teacher. It read: “Thank you, but it’s still BE MINE-US.”

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A couple were having marital problems and went to a marriage counselor. Several visits later, the counselor had discovered the problem. He stood up, went to the woman and gave her a huge hug. She dissolved into grateful tears. “This is what your wife needs once every day,” said the counselor. The husband shrugged and said, “Ok, what time should I bring her back tomorrow?”