What Not To Say This Holiday?

1. Hey!  There’s a gift!

2. Well, well, well ...

3. Boy, if I had not recently shot up four sizes that would’ve fit.

4. This is perfect for wearing around the basement.

5. Gosh, I hope this never catches fire!  It is fire season, though.  There are lots of unexplained fires.

6. If the dog buries this, I’ll be furious!

7. I love it – but I fear the jealousy it will inspire.

8. Sadly, tomorrow I enter the Federal Witness Protection Program.

9. This is perfect for re-gifting.

10. I really don’t deserve this.  Seriously.