1. Hey! There’s a gift!
2. Well, well, well ...
3. Boy, if I had not recently shot up four sizes that would’ve fit.
4. This is perfect for wearing around the basement.
5. Gosh, I hope this never catches fire! It is fire season, though. There are lots of unexplained fires.
6. If the dog buries this, I’ll be furious!
7. I love it – but I fear the jealousy it will inspire.
8. Sadly, tomorrow I enter the Federal Witness Protection Program.
9. This is perfect for re-gifting.
10. I really don’t deserve this. Seriously.
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